Things that Go Bump in the Night
by clairissazeniarosele
Summary: When the Yamis, Marik and Kaiba escape from their dimension looking for help, they stumble upon a portal leading them into a girl's house. She and her friends must now save the Yugioh world from being destroyed. Parings: (Eventual)UmbrexBakura, MilliexKaiba, KamixKevin, AvaxYami, MarikxMira, CharliexRyou! Rated for Umbre and Bakura's bad mouths. Don't read unless mentally prepared!
1. Cosplayers in my living room

Things That Go Bump in the Night

Chapter 1~ Cosplayers in my Living Room

_Thump_. I was just sitting on my bed, harmlessly reading a book, when I heard a loud bump. Grabbing my cell phone to use as a flashlight, I set off for the stairs.  
Walking down to the living room, underneath my room, I tried to step quietly, and jumped over the creaky stair.  
I snuck over to the opening of the room and peered in. There were three men in there, laying on top of one another, but not exactly looking happy with said position.  
"Get your butt out of my face, Thief."  
"Get your face out of my butt!" the one who had been called 'thief' snapped.  
"I can't; Marik's sitting on me," the first retorted.  
"Hi," the third male said from his position on the other two. He again spoke, but I couldn't hear it. However, I could hear the humour dripping off his voice. Clearly it amused him. The other two obviously didn't find it as such, considering how they growled and all but threw the platinum haired male off of them. When they stood up, clearly pissed off, I saw that one of them- the 'thief' I believe- had very light hair. In the moonlight, I couldn't tell if it was white, or platinum like the other.  
Even in the darkness, I could tell that all three of them had darkened skin. The third would be easy to identify because of his unmistakable hair. It was gravity defying and black based. There were also red accents on it that looked eerily like blood. He also had blonde bangs. (I don't even know how I didn't recognize them at this point- It should have been blatantly obvious to me)  
I was about to step back to call the police- I was decently sure that that was what you were supposed to do in this situation- when my phone started ringing, scaring the crap out of me. It was my phone-pal (sort of like a pen-pal except contacted over the phone), texting me to say that she was in a different dimension.  
_Haha, very funny, Mira_, I responded before hurriedly setting the phone to silent. Scared, almost out of my mind (I probably would've been, if I was sane), I glanced back inside the room. All three of the men had clearly untangled themselves and were standing still listening. I couldn't see the white haired one, but I assumed he was in the darkness somewhere. It didn't even dawn on me that he had white hair, and I probably should've been able to see him if he were still in the room.  
As I spied on them, the platinum haired one asked, "What was that?"  
"Ask them yourselves." I would've jumped from shock because of the rough voice that suddenly materialized in the back of me, except that I was more focused on the ground that was suddenly rushing up at me. I turned back, only to see the tan man with white hair. He was glowering, so in return, I glared back at him. I saw a smile tugging on his lips and he looked away.  
Getting up, and wiping of my butt, I glanced around at the three men who were looking back at me.  
And suddenly… I saw the light, figuratively. "Are you…?" I paused mid-thought. They seemed to think me to be their prisoner or something (in my own house too) and I wondered if they would eat me for asking a question, again figuratively. "Um… are you cosplayers?" I asked when I was certain that I had their attention and they obviously weren't going to injure me.  
Yami started laughing, but Marik and Bakura looked confused.  
"What's a cosplayer?" Marik asked.  
"It better not be something insulting," Bakura added, glaring at me in challenge.  
"No. But this is." I mouthed, 'Idiot.'  
A low growl was all I got in warning, before he lunged at me. I yelped, and slid back only to trip on my own feet. I butt-scootched the rest of the way to get away from him.  
Marik and Yami shared a glance, snorted, and together tried to hold Bakura back. Bakura wrenched out of their combined grips, only to trip over the leg of one of my chairs.  
Since I was very dumb (*Whacks head against table*) I hadn't moved back, so Bakura tripped onto me and pressed me to the floor. I flopped around under him like some kind of possessed fish, until Bakura leapt off of me. Released from the awkward position, I ran and hid, putting a couch cushion over my head protectively.  
Either this was the best, or worst day of my life.  
Peering out from under my cushion-shell, I thought I saw Bakura a tad flushed. (But no, that couldn't be right! Oh wait; he's a cosplayer, so he probably just broke character!) But as I blinked, I looked and it was gone. Just as suddenly as it had seemed to come.  
I hid back under the cushion and almost fell asleep, until I felt someone sit next to me. I looked up to see the Pharaoh.  
"You okay?" he asked, appearing sincere. I shook my head, and frowned. He snickered, and looked back at a once again unfeeling Bakura. Returning his attention to me, he held out a hand for me to shake. "I'm Atem."  
"Yea, I know. You're a cosplayer."  
He froze and stared at me. "Why do you keep saying that?"  
"Because… You… Are?" I stated, in an almost questioning way. He opened his mouth to talk, but closed it again. He just ended up shaking his head. "_Really?_" I questioned, at this point, utterly horrified. At his nod, I reached forwards and touched his hair.  
It was soft.  
And obviously not hair gelled.  
The tension in the room suddenly spiked, and I looked around for the source. I found Bakura glaring at me (or was it the Pharaoh?) and I sat back down, pouting.  
The tension in the air slowly diffused.  
"The glaring one is Bakura," Atem continued unnecessarily. "And the other one is Marik." I nodded.  
I smiled. "My name is Umbrë, Umbrë Rïomé." I paused. "And I love Doritos."  
He blinked. "Alright then." I laughed at his confusion.  
"So, should I call you Atem or…" I trailed off.  
He thought about it. "I'm usually called either Yami, Atem, or Pharaoh. Yami is what I'm most often called by my friends." Is he implying that I was his friend? (Cue inner fangirl squee)  
"What about Yatem?" I questioned innocently.  
"What?" he asked through gritted teeth.  
"You know, Yatem! Like Yami and Atem mixed together. Unless Yatemi is preferred." His eye twitched at the continuation. Of course, I never would've made this up, off the top of my head. The names Yatem and Yatemi are solemnly copywrited to my friend.  
"Neither is preferred," he said in an annoyed manner.  
"Yatem it is!" I responded giddily. Sleep deprivation does that to me.  
I yawned widely, but didn't plan on going to sleep. Not with my new found house-mates. Two ancient Egyptian spirits and a Tombkeeper did not make for a pleasant night's sleep.  
Maybe if I locked them in…  
I led the three to a 'guest room' (*Coughclosetcough*) and once they were all safely in, I closed and locked the door behind me. Doors that lock from the outside can come in handy when they're to your favour.  
Even though I was pretty sure I wouldn't get much sleep, I went to my room and passed out.

**CZR: So I am rewriting Things That Go Bump in the Night.  
Bakura: *Claps*  
CZR: Yep, so I changed a lot, so it made more sense. In the other story, I had no idea what I was doing, so the plot didn't appear until the ninth chapter. In this version, I'm going to have some foreshadowing because I know what I'm doing ;)  
Bakura: Yaaaaaaay  
CZR: What the frig? Are you on crack?  
Marik: He's just happy because he's paired up with Umbr****ë****.  
CZR: That makes him **_**happy**_**? He's even messed up than I thought!  
Marik: I know…  
Yuugi: R&R please, tell us how this compares to the other version.  
Ryou: Flames are okay too. Just constructive flames, please.  
Marik/Bakura: *Covering CZR's mouth*  
Ryou: … Premature gagging…  
Yuugi: CZR doesn't own Yugioh!**


	2. Curse of the Monsters

**Things that go Bump in the Night**

**Chapter 2~ Curse of the Monsters**

I had gone to sleep at one in the morning, so I was rather irked when I was woken again at three-thirty by doors slamming open and closed shortly after.

Until I realized that it was the non-cosplaying trio, which caused me to jump up before the banging reached my room.

Since I had no life, I used my time to draw. So I had several hundred pictures of Marik, Mariku, Ryou, Bakura, Yuugi, Yami, even Kaiba! If they saw these, I would die of embarrassment.

So, I chose the martyrs' path and walked out of my room… probably to my doom. Bakura was obviously pissed. I could see it in the way that he slammed the door to my brother's room. As he grabbed the doorknob to my parents' room, I threw a chess piece from the near bye chess board. (They are the only things that I can aim with for some strange reason, and they do hurt quite a bit.) It hit him on the temple and made a strange thudding noise, clearly showing that his head wasn't hollow, as I had first expected.

He growled and swung his head my way as I prepared to throw another piece; a knight. "No one is allowed to go in there, it's my parents' room," I said curtly, already getting upset just seeing someone disrupt their room. Ever since my parents' death, my brother (when he was home) and I never opened the door.

It brought back too many memories…

He didn't pry anymore, which I was thankful for, but he then yanked me by the hair to the downstairs where he then yelled to both of the other Egyptians that he had- and I quote- found the "lying traitorous bitch of a girl." Of course, I bit his hand after that.

The only thing that kept him from injuring me seriously was the arrival of the others.

Marik stalked up to me and pouted in my face. I spit right in his, and he fell back on his butt. From behind me, Bakura roared with laughter.

"Are you PMSing or something? First, you are a dick, and then you go and start cracking up!"

"I could ask you the same question," he retorted.

"I haven't been laughing maniacally so…" I stuck my tongue out at him. Yatem grabbed me from him before he could rip me apart.  
"You locked us in a damn closet! What is your problem?" Bakura hissed.

"Now now, Fluffy. Be calmed by the sound of my voice," Marik interjected, rubbing his cheek on Bakura's face. Marik was suddenly flying across the room.

"I guess I can beat you up instead," Bakura said. Marik skittered behind the couch I had resided on the previous morning. Yatem and I stood right next to the place where he hid.

"This is ridiculous! Just quit it already!" I cried, irritated.

"Well, you _did_ lock us in a closet," Yatem mentioned, unnecessarily.

"You guys just appeared in my house! I don't trust you enough to roam around while I sleep!" Yatem seemed to ponder this, before nodding in understanding.

"I can see that," he finally said.

"So, is she cool?" Marik asked, squinting at me. Yatem nodded and Marik came over and hid behind me. "Protect me from the fluffy demon."

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me. Bakura looked pissed and said, "I'm going outside." He stepped over towards the door. At this point, he was still wearing his red coat-like piece of clothing and his blue man-skirt.

"Dressed like _that_? You'll get mobbed by girls who want to look," I coughed "molest," and Bakura glared at me, "at someone with a eight pack like that!" I made clicked sounds with my tongue and shook my head.

Grabbing his wrist, I pulled him up to my brother's room and, searching through the closet, I picked out the first two things that I found. They happened to be a neon pink shirt, and olive shorts. (Whoever said all girls know fashion is a liar.) Bakura threw the clothes aside and grabbed a red muscle shirt and jeans. (I never even knew that my brother owned a shirt like that until just now.)

"Fine, whatever." I put my hands up in defeat, and turned around to leave.

As almost an afterthought, I turned back around and snatched up Bakura's hair in a ponytail.

I waited in the hallway, leaning against the door. So focused on my thoughts was I that I didn't even notice when the door was pulled inwards and before my brain could tell me to stand the frig up, I had fallen backwards and landed ungracefully on the floor in some sort of awkward back-flop.

For a moment, everything was quiet as Bakura and I stared blankly at each other. He then began laughing so loud that I was almost sure the neighbors would have to come over and investigate the origin of the sound.

I heard someone rush up the stairs and I sat up, crossed my arms, and pouted. Yatem rushed into the room that we were inside, and immediately relaxed.

"What?" I asked.

"He didn't kill you," he said unexpectedly.

"Uh… no! He didn't!" I put in, before frowning. "Why would you have thought he had killed me?"

"Oh, Marik and I heard him laughing and thought something had happened," he mumbled.

Bakura snorted. "Something did happen, Umbrë did the worm."

"I did not! I just fell because you didn't give any warning when you opened the door!"

"I didn't think I _had_ to give warning first. It's your fault for leaning against the damn door!" he yelled back.

"Well at least I don't have white hair!" I screeched back.

"At least I don't have grey eyes!" he retorted.

"But… you do," I commented.

"It's not important," he told me, crossly. I blinked and looked back at Yatem, who shrugged.

"Have you ever looked in a mirror?" I questioned, looking over him, noting how dirty he was. "Or for that matter, ever had a bath?" I scrunched up my nose and sniffed in disdain.

"No," he deadpanned. "Problem?"

"Kind of. You smell like my brother when he comes home, after a year of working, and it's very offsetting."

"Ah, but does your brother have _these_?" He flexed his deltoids.

"Gods, I hope not. I wouldn't want to have to protect _him_ from fangirls too!" He did something that looked oddly similar to a pout, which- even though it looked funky on his face- made me laugh.

"So, you mess up my appearance and make me wear… this." He gestured to his clothes. "But you do nothing to the Pharaoh or the Tombkeeper. Brilliant, Umbrë," Bakura stated, rolling his eyes.

"How the hell do you know my name?" I cried, recalling that we were never 'introduced.' Bakura stared at Yatem. "Right, should've guessed. Aaaaanyway, thank you, Bakura, for reminding me."

"Not a problem," he muttered, smirking as I did one of those slow, evil walks that villains do in movies, towards Yatem.

Then I glomped him, and out of shock, he fell over. Then I quickly yanked off my sock and wrapped it around his head, covering his eyes.

"Umbrë? What are you doing?" Yatem wondered nervously. In response, I laughed evilly and started down the stairs to where I kept my hair accoutrements.

Since he was blindfolded, halfway down the stairs, he tripped and we rolled together down the stairs. "GRAAAAAHH!" I yelled, before throwing Yatem off of me and angrily dragging him into the bathroom. I slammed the door behind me.

"Please don't hurt me," Yatem murmured. I laughed evilly again, and the lights in the bathroom flicked ominously just as the sound of thunder was heard. From inside the shower, a grand piano was heard, playing seemingly of its own accord. A bearded face popped out of the shower and started speaking in rapid Spanish.

I had no idea what he said, but I nodded like I did and said, "Good job, I'll call you if I need you again!" I made a 'call me' gesture with my hand- my thumb near my ear and pinky near my mouth.

"Qué?" he asked, before I walked over and slid the curtain shut.

"Anyway, back to your hair…" I paused, thinking about all the horrors I could put him through. I grinned and chuckled before grabbing some scissors and beginning to cut his hair.

**~Hours Later~**

I opened the door, only to find the adjoining living room completely barren. "Guys? Hellooo?" Yatem walked out, his hair now without the red tips, or golden bangs, swept back in a fashion that was reminiscent of Elvis. "Yatem, I think they ditched us."

"Your neighborhood is screwed," he replied, simply.

I sighed, "I know."

We walked to the kitchen where we suited up in our psychopath-finding gear. I had a colander on my head, and as a weapon, I held a spatula.

Yatem was dressed similarly, except he had a plastic drainer instead of my metal one, and he wielded a whisk.

We searched a bit more, to be absolutely positive that they weren't hiding before we stepped outside, to discover utter chaos. "I think they discovered the Monsters," I said, my voice becoming hoarse.

"What monsters?" Yatem wondered.

"They're highly caffeinated drinks. We're going to have two hung-over psychos tomorrow."

Yatem groaned. "They're bad enough already."

"I know; and if they found Monsters, they're going to be unstoppable." Seeing no other options, I was forced to ask Yatem one of the most horrifying things I've ever done. "Want to see a movie?"

Yatem just stared at me, until I felt uncomfortable and started shuffling my feet. "Sure," he finally said.


	3. Death by Laughter

**Things That Go Bump in the Night**

**Chapter 3~ Death by Laughter**

Yatem and I had left at 5, but because we were walking, we didn't reach the cinema until just after 6 o' clock.

He and I chillaxed in the movie theatre for the length of 3 movies. By then, it was almost 1 in the afternoon and there wasn't another movie until two-thirty. (I blew almost $100 buying tickets and food that day.) While waiting for the next movie, Yatem and I ended up sitting in the lobby and people-watched.

Enough people complained about us, however, and we were booted out of the cinema. Literally. "Was that really necessary?" I asked Yatem, getting up off the ground.

He groaned and stood up as well. "No."

"It was a rhetorical question," I said, rolling my eyes. He shrugged, not really caring. "Should we check on Mar-bear and 'Kura-cakes?"

"Mar- bear… and 'Kura-cakes?" Yatem repeated, looking at me quizzically. In response, I grinned sheepishly.

"Let's go. Hopefully, they didn't destroy too much."

As I stepped into my neighborhood, my senses were berated by the smell of something burning, and the sight of destroyed buildings.

_"Good luck." I was thrown roughly out of my house by my mother, only moments before the beam above her head- where I had been just before- collapsed, crushing her._

_ Right until her last moment, she smiled an encouraging smile, as if to tell me that it was okay._

_ But it wasn't…_

Stifling a scream, I stumbled back. Yatem grabbed my waist, and I used that as a lifeline to wrench myself back to reality. That wasn't happening now.

"Are you okay?" Yatem was shaking me. I looked at him, confused. What just happened? I mentally shook my head, letting the memory sink into the back of my mind.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I quickly backed away and speed-walked towards my house. Yatem trailed behind, trying to keep up. I had extreme midget legs, so I was used to walking fast.

However, I wasn't used to tripping over things, so when I did, I fell and what I fell on made this strange squeaking/wheezing noise.

It was Bakura. Passed out on my doorstep. "Asshat!" I yelled, slapping his face, several times, though it seemed very ineffective. He mumbled something I couldn't make out, and turned over, trapping my leg under him. "Agh, what the blargenshnurff?!" I flailed and kicked him in the face with my free leg.

He moaned in pain and cracked open an eye. "Nice underwear," he rasped.

I squealed and put my leg back down; I had completely forgotten that I was still in the clothes Millie had lent me the day before because I had sent mine to the cleaners. A skirt and an annoyingly frilly shirt. But it was better than being naked.

Never-the-less, my face turned so red it appeared to glow. We don't even _need_ Rudolph this year! "Waaaaaaa!" I cried. "Get off of meeeeee!" I pushed him off my leg and ran inside, deliberately smashing the door into his skull.

"What's going on?" Marik questioned, stumbling around like a zombie.

Still annoyed with the state of my neighborhood, I stomped up to him, and repeated the original process that I had done with Bakura, minus the capture of my leg.

"My head hurts. What did you do?" Marik questioned, looking for all the world like a drunk.

"I didn't do nothing! You got fucked up on Monsters and destroyed the neighborhood!"

"Did we?" he questioned, scrunching up his face in deep concentration.

"Yes, you did." I rested my weight on my left side, and put my hands on my hips. Marik opened his mouth to answer, but then fell forwards. (At this point, I worried for the sake of his nose, I also mentally agreed with my earlier decision to never drink. I was pretty sure this would be similar to being hung over.) I rolled him over, and when he seemed fine, I dragged him into the bathroom, laughing evilly.

I plugged in the electric razor, and quickly shaved off his hair; he now had hair only a few centimeters long. The military captains would be proud… So would Karita.

I looked around, appraising the situation, and determined that it would be the perfect time to use the Sharpie that I stol- I mean borrowed- from my friend.

Above his mouth, I drew a curly French-style mustache, and doodled a monocle around his eye.

I nodded, in pride of my hard work. Quickly, I dragged him back in the living room, and pulled him onto a couch. If worse came to worst, I would tell him that Bakura did it.

With that idea in place, I got up and snuck back outside through the back door. Using my ninja-like skills, I snuck to the front, and pulled Bakura (with the help of Yatem) inside the house. And dropped him promptly on a second couch.

I sat beside him and pet his hair. He really _was_ fluffy! While I delved into a few thoughts, I continued to play with his hair. When I finally sorted my thoughts into a more suitable pattern, I looked down, only to find Bakura's hair split into several hundred Jamaican braids.

The phone started ringing just then, to the tune of Für Elise, which scared the crap out of me.

"Hello?" I questioned, picking up the phone. My friend Ava, on the other line, asked if she could come over. "Sure!" I said, joyfully.

"Great! I'll be over in five minutes!" she said before hanging up.

Chuckling demonically, I took out a bottle of glue…

Yatem came downstairs after the fifth consecutive ring of the doorbell, to see me laying on the floor, shuffling a deck of cards.

"Aren't you going to get that?" he asked as the person ringing the doorbell's fingers went into hyper-drive.

"Nah. They can wait," I said, half zoned out. Yatem sighed, and was just about to open the door, when the handle started jiggling, and a credit card flashed through the crack. Yatem stared at it in horrified wonder. The door suddenly flew open and, doorknob catching Yatem on his chest, my friend Ava walked in.

Yatem had been literally blown back from the door's destructive power, but he now looked around, groaning in pain. He reached his hand up to his chest, only to immediately wipe it on his pants.

"Umbrë? What is this stuff on my shirt?" he asked, shakily.

"Oh, it's glue! I spread some on the doorknob when Ava called to tell me she was coming over!" I smiled happily. My plan had worked perfectly.

"Ava? What kind of name is that?" Bakura scoffed, still half asleep.

"It stands for Avery, Jamaican-man! By the way, Umbrë who are these peop-"

She was cut off as Bakura's confused expression turned into an angry one. "Umbrë, what the hell did you do to my hair?!" He pulled at his hair, trying to get the braids out.

"Nobody and I mean noooboody interrupts _me_!" Ava growled, before grabbing Bakura and throwing him to the floor in an intricate karate move.

Bakura was speechless for all of about two seconds before he cried out, "Ra almighty, are all women in this dimension so violent?!"

"Yes," I commented flatly. "My friends, at least. And Ava, these are the characters of Yu-Gi-Oh." I gestured around as I answered her half asked question.

"And this is THE Yatem?" she asked, pointing at the Yami that had been thrown to the floor. I nodded and she shrieked, "COOLIO!" and ran over to Yatem, to make sure he was okay.

"Hello, world! I am here for my precious Kevin!" Kami, another of my strange friends, announced walking in through the still open door.

Getting up, satisfied that she hadn't hurt Yatem too badly, Ava sighed. "Kami, you know Kevin doesn't exist."

"I don't know," I disagreed. "Maybe he does!" Kevin was the 'perfect boyfriend' for Kami- or so she claimed. She created him, so I guess he really could be.

"I bet you ten bucks that he doesn't," Ava bet.

"Gods, I know I'm handsome, but you don't have to bet for bucks!" I made a punny; bucks as in thrusts that is.

Ava was used to my perverted jokes, but she flushed anyway. "Dollars. I bet you ten dollars," she corrected.

"Well, I bet another five bucks that when he comes, he won't know Kami," I said, continuing the bet.

Ava laughed. "You might as well give me the fifteen dollars-" We both shut up as Kami ran up to us and put her hand in our faces.

"You guys are so mean!" she cried.

"Kami, you know that he doesn't-" Ava was cut off a second time as a sound was heard from the basement. I knew this constant cutting off must be a cut to her imaginary ego.

"It's Kevin! He's come for me," my obsessed friend called once again, rushing to the door. She opened the door, only to find someone that looked awfully familiar…

"Seto? What are you doing here? I thought you said that you 'want nothing to do with us idiots because' you 'had a company you needed to run.' You also asked if you 'had mentioned that we were idiots.' Which, yes, you did," Yatem asked.

He opened his mouth to reply, but Kami pushed him aside, and he almost fell on my carpet. "Kevin!" Kami embraced someone.

"You owe me ten dollars," I murmured to Ava out of the corner of my mouth. She grumbled and searched her pocket for any money she might have on her. She found a ten dollar bill and handed it to me. We tuned back into the conversation.

"Who are you?" he asked, looking rather nervous.

"Why, I'm your long lost girlfriend, silly!" Kami giggled flirtatiously.

"Oh. Are you the cashier at Sears that always gives me coupons?" wondered Kevin.

"No…" Kami began.

"Not ringing any bells," Kevin interrupted, shrugging.

"Fifteen," I said, out of the corner of my mouth. Searching through her pockets, Ava pulled out things that should not be revealed in proper company. Of course, this wasn't… but still!

She handed me a five dollar bill, only to have me drop it as I found the tampon wadded inside it.

Ava grabbed it and chucked it at Bakura, then firmly said, "It's Millie's!"

Bakura looked at the tampon curiously. "What is it?" he asked Yatem, who was now attempting to hide from me and Ava with Bakura.

"It's a nose picker!" he exclaimed, taking the tampon from Bakura and shoving it right back up the Thief's nose. Bakura took it right back out, and stuck it to Yatem's hair.

Yatem didn't notice as he was too busy yelling, "Ava, why do you have a nose picker in your purse?"

"It's a tampon!" she blushed.

"Yeah! We shove them right up our vaginas!" I added throwing up my arms in a gesture of victory.

Yatem returned Ava's blush, and Bakura covered his face. "Too much information, little girl," Bakura finally said.

"Quieres luchar?!" I asked, putting my hands on my hips.

"What is that you're speaking in? Polish?" Bakura frowned.

"Whaaat? No, it's Spanish, you dipwad!" I cried, felling the beginnings of a tick in my eyebrow.

"Never heard of it."

The tick grew larger. "Quieres luchar, ¿no?" I said, frowning.

"What the hell does that mean?!" Bakura exclaimed.

"It means you're an idiot, now shut up, Jamaican man!" I told him, adopting Ava's nickname. Bakura growled and was about to lunge at me, when a hair of hands attached to a curly blonde-haired woman pinched his nipples.

"So you _do_ have pectorals. Interesting," my other friend, Millie said.

I laughed at the horrified expression on Bakura's face. And the concentrating expression on Millie's face.

"What is wrong with these women?" Bakura practically screamed, metaphorical steam coming out of his ears, as he pounded up the stairs.

"I think he's pissed," I commented lightly. From on the couch, Marik gurgled as he woke up.

"What's going on? I have _such_ a headache." He sat up, and was mortified to see everyone point and laugh at him. I couldn't even keep down a giggle seeing my work in action.

Marik then went into the bathroom and screamed like a little girl. "Umbrë, what did you do to my face? AND MY HAIR?!" he wailed.

"It was Bakura," I said innocently, trying to make myself look as angelic as I could muster. A little smirk kept tugging at the corners of my lips, and it took all my self control to keep from full out evil grinning.

"Gawd. Why is Marik so feminine?" Ava asked Yatem from where they were both seated on the couch parallel to the one Marik had been on: the one Bakura had previously resided upon before he stormed off in a rage.

"I am _not_ feminine!" Marik exclaimed putting his hands on his hips, which caused all in the room to raise an eyebrow skeptically at the spectacle in front of us.

"You're more feminine than _us_, and _we're_ the girls here!" Ava cried, continuing.

"That's wrong on so many levels," I interjected dryly.

"Not what I meant," Ava said, almost growling at me. I was about to look down in mock shame when I saw Marik waltz by, purse in hand.

"Geez, I don't know many men that have purses," I speculated.

He turned to me and growing annoyed, he said, "It's a satchel!"

"Could have fooled me. It looks just like a man purse!" _I'm really good at pissing people off!_ I thought, as I saw Bakura's metaphorical steam coming out of Marik's ears.

Marik stomped up the stairs, as Bakura had, causing me to snort. I turned around, only to find myself face-to-face with Ava. Eating my Doritos.

"No. No Doritos for you!" I exclaimed, taking them away from her. She put on her practiced 'oh noes' face. When that failed to do anything, she began pouting.

"Umbrë, you stink," she said after an eternity.

"Literally or metaphorically?" I countered.

"Both," she said, turning from me.

"Oh you did _not _just go there!" I chased after Ava. "Get back here you large cretin!" As I skidded around the corner, I saw Ava push aside my knee-high refrigerator and prepare to jump into the hole beneath it. She screamed, "To the Umbrë-cave!" Once inside, she began singing, "Duh nuh nuh nuh, duh nuh nuh nuh, Umbrë-man!"

I shook my head sadly at my strange friend's antics. I then pushed the 'fridge back over the hole and went and closed the front door before going and sitting next to Yatem.

"It's just you and me, buddy," I said.

He just groaned.

**THANK YOU WHO ALERTED OR FAVOURITED THIS STORY! Thank you also, to Zenna Crell who reviewed. (I always forget this part, so I'm catching up right here!)**

**CZR: I feel like I haven't updated in forever D:  
Bakura: That's because you haven't.  
CZR: *Glares* Well, first I had a writer's block, and then I went on a trip to Mexico last week so… Yes, those are my reasons. I hope a freakishly long chapter will make up for the absence. I also have to mention that it took me almost three days to type this up. (I only have 2 hours of computer time a day, except almost 5 on weekends, so that's why I update on weekends.)  
Marik: And because it seemed necessary, there's going to be a lot of awkward moments with Umbr****ë**** and I and Umbr****ë**** and Yatem, but they're never going to be pairings.  
CZR: The characters say Umbr****ë****'s name so often in this chapter o_o It's really getting annoying to go to the symbol setting every time I have to write her name x'D  
Yuugi: CZR doesn't own Yugioh-  
Marik/Bakura: *Restraining CZR from saying what she does own*  
Yuugi: R&R please!**

If you're still reading this, then I would be happy if you could go and read my draft of this story to see if I've improved the stuff on this story. Also, this story is going to take longer to get to the plot, so if you want to know what the heck the plot is (I actually DO have one), you should take a peeky poo at my draft ^^


	4. School Uniforms

**Things that go Bump in the Night**

**Chapter 4~ School Uniforms**

The next morning, I woke up on the couch.

Huh… how did I get _here_? I could've sworn I had gone to sleep in my own bed.

Sitting up, I quickly noticed several sets of eyes staring at me.

These eyes belonged to Ava and Millie. Bakura, Marik, and Yatem also glanced at me, and I laughed as I saw them tied up with rope.

"Very kinky, guys!" I chuckled, doing my 'pervy eyebrows' at Millie and Ava.

Ava flushed, but Millie just smirked at me and said, "Yup."

Glancing around once more, I asked, "So why have you come here, strange children?"

Millie stood up and pointed a finger at me, looking as though she was Phoenix Wright. "Umbrë, you're going to school!"

"What?" I deadpanned. That was not what I had expected her to say.

"I already signed you all up for school, so you're going." For the rest of the day, I sulked.

The next morning, I smashed my alarm to death. High pitched beeping was not on my 'to hear' list today.

Unfortunately, Millie wasn't going to let me stay home. She came and shook me, shook me again, once more…

Then picked me up and promptly dropped me on the floor.

When I still failed to get up, Millie sighed and suddenly I felt her finger… her _wet_ finger, stab me inside my ear.

"EHMEGERD!" I screamed. "WET WILLIE!" I then proceeded to curl up in a protective ball.

"Umbrë, it's time for school." I just groaned. Sighing in exasperation, she said, "It's 7:10; if you don't get going _now_ we're all going to be late."

"What kind of wanker gets up before noooooon?" I sobbed into my knees.

Both Millie and I heard a loud crash. Ava called up, "I tripped over a chair... But I'm okay!" There was a single moment of silence in which Millie murmured something to the effect of 'Ava, you idiot.' Ava continued, saying, "Umbrë, where do you keep the bandaids?"

"They're in the cupboard, next to the Doritos!" I yelled, still half asleep.

Millie then shook me roughly. "Get _up_, small child!" she urged.

"Five more minutes, mum," I said, drooling on her. She immediately released me, causing my head to slam into the hard floor. "Oh dear mother ffmmmm…" I clenched my fists, and gritted my teeth at the explosive pain that had suddenly blossomed in my head. Not wanting to endure at more abuse, I sat up. "Okay, okay, I'm awake!"

"Good! Here!" she cheered, handing me a bundle of clothing. She then skipped away, singing, "I'm off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz~"

I shook my head, sighing deeply, before getting up- and causing my head to throb- and me to almost pass out.

There was a bathroom next to my room, right at the top of the stairs- the second bathroom in the house- so I stumbled that way, and slid the door closed.

Turning on the sink, I ran my wet fingers through my hair, before squeezing toothpaste onto the toothbrush, and sticking it in my mouth. I then quickly took off my night clothes, only to pause, in shock as I saw the clothes Millie had given me.

It looked like a uniform.

More specifically, a school uniform.

"MIIIILLIEE!?" She called back up to show me she had heard. "WE HAVE A SCHOOL UNIFORM?" I cried. She yelled back an affirmative, which caused me to moan in agony.

I had a pink, short, ruffly skirt, with a white shirt, again- ruffly- and a lighter pink coat.

Millie had also given me white leg warmers, as well as a pair of brown loafers.

I pulled on the skirt and socks and shoes, and was just about to reach for my shirt when the door slid open again.

I had expected Millie, so when I saw Bakura, I totally froze.

We stared at each other for what felt like several minutes, before he slid the door back closed without changing his expression of boredom.

"Motherfucker," I heard him mutter under his breath from outside the door.

"Watch your language, young man!" I exclaimed, before tugging on my shirt and placing my coat above it, eyes on the door the entire time.

I finished brushing my teeth and trampled down the stairs, sounding for all the world like a herd of elephants.

Sitting down at my kitchen table, I looked up to see Ava nomming on my Doritos.

"Ava…" I growled. "Why are you eating my Doritos?"

"I'm not eating-" Looking down, she started. "Wait, yes I am…"

Everyone else in the room sweatdropped. I looked over as I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye. I saw Bakura creeping up behind Marik and Ava. He put his fingers on his lips. I gave an almost imperceptible nod, and watched, amused, as he snuck up and grabbed both their necks. They screamed and fell off the chairs they both sat on.

Bakura and I laughed aloud. Kaiba didn't look up, but he chuckled at the sound of people falling to the floor. He was too busy running his company to do anything else.

Kaiba had apparently found a way to rewire his computer so he could do that.

I also saw Yatem glaring at Bakura.

Millie clapped her hands. "Break it up, ya morons!" She crossed her arms. "Now, down to business. I took the liberty of changing your names so you didn't stand out so much. Yami…" Millie was the only one who still called him by his original name, which, seemingly, made him like her best of all of us. "Yami, you are Carlos. Seto, you are…" she paused as she reread her notes. "Creig." she finished. "Bakura is Florence, and Marik is Carter."

"Florence? What kind of name is that?" Bakura groaned, sitting down in the empty chair between Yatem and me.

"It's an awesome name!" I said, sarcastically, doing jazz hands.

"Nice sarcasm," he replied.

"Thank ya'll," I snickered back.

"Oh, and Umbrë?"

"Yeesss?" I asked turning back around to look at Bakura.

He leaned forwards, and in my ear he whispered, "Nice bra."

I made an animalistic sound and jumped off the chair. "You're such a…" Shit… Think of an insult!

"Such a what?" he challenged. I growled and flipped him off before disappearing through a door and running upstairs.

I heard roaring laughter downstairs, and I listened as Bakura growled something at them, which caused them all to shut up.

I heard someone advancing up the stairs, and I hid my face in a pillow. My door opened and the person walked in.

"Wake up~" Millie sang. "The sun is clouded, the birds are… nonexistent, and it's time for school!"

I groaned and pulled the covers over myself. "I dun wanna go!" I cried from the pillow.

Millie tried to pull me out of the bed. When I wouldn't let go, she went back downstairs. If I was lucky, then she wouldn't come back up. Unfortunately, she did, also dragging Bakura along with her.

"Umbrë, get up."

"No!" I said, vehemently. Millie snapped her fingers, and I heard Bakura sigh.

He began pulling blankets off me, and at one point, stole my pillow. I snatched it back and beat him with it. He dragged the last blanket off me and threw me over his shoulder, where I continued to hit him with it.

I was carried to the kitchen, where everyone immediately began laughing at us.

"What is it?" Bakura hissed.

"It looks like you two were _doing it_!" Marik gasped, out of breath from laughing.

Millie snorted. "It's true!" she agreed.

And again, I walked away. Once safely in the bathroom, I closed the door and tried to work a comb through the mat on my head.

Once I had brushed it the best that I could, I looked over, only to notice a bottle of navy dye.

I chuckled evilly. _This could be fun_.

"Umbrë, you fool! Get down here; you're making us late! If you don't come down _now_ we'll have to carry you!" Millie called up.

I was currently attempting to blow-dry my once-pink-now-navy school uniform.

I picked it up and wrung out the little bit of water that had collected on the bottom of the uniform. I then picked up the jacket and slipped that over the still white shirt.

I also put the skirt on, bringing it over my white leg warmers and the black dress shoes I had found, almost buried in the back of my closet. I had gotten them for the public speech my brother did, here in New York, a few years back.

I then ran down the stairs and propelled myself down to the bus stop where the bus was just pulling up.

I jumped as a spitball whizzed by my head. It dripped down the wall in such a slobbery manner that I shivered walked faster to find a seat.

I almost flipped as I was pulled into a seat. Looking at who it was I cried, "Help, I don't _want_ to sit with a nerd!"

"Fuck you," he grumbled, covering my mouth with his hand.

"No thank you," I replied, though it was muffled by his hand.

Bakura grumbled something else, but then said, "Look, all the other seats have two people in them. Trust me, Ava already checked." I believe Ava, but I wasn't sure I believed Bakura. "She was looking for _any_ place she could hide from 'Yatem.'" I laughed. That seemed totally logical. He pulled his hand away from my mouth. "Don't you dare say I'm a nerd, or I'll throw you in with Kami and Kevin."

"What are they doing?" I asked, though I already had a pretty good idea what would be going on.

"They're making out… Actually, they're basically eating each other. It kind of passed the point of making out already."

I shivered. "It's even worse than I had thought!" I looked over to see Marik laughing his ass off, from next to a boy I'd never seen before, at what we were bickering about.

"So you won't call me a nerd?" Bakura prompted.

"No nerdness," I promised.

"Good enough," he said. We sat in silence for a while, until I felt something grab my leg.

I jumped almost a foot off the seat, causing Bakura to jump as well.

Peering under the seat, I saw Ava clinging to my leg for dear life. She clawed herself out and plopped herself between Bakura and me. Bakura glared daggers at her out of the corner of his eye. I wonder if he had been doing that to me during our silence.

"I finally escaped Yatem!" she exclaimed, fixing her hair.

"He's sitting behind us?" I asked. I hadn't even realized that fact.

She nodded. I peered behind us, to find Yatem looking around frantically for Ava.

_He probably knows Millie would kill him if Ava was injured by a stranger on the bus_ I chuckled. Might as well put the poor spirit out of his misery. "She's in our seat, Yatem," I told him.

He looked at me, and bent under the seat. "Oh gods, he's got me!" I heard Ava exclaim as she was dragged under the seat to sit with Yatem.

I sat down quickly so she couldn't flip out at me.

Looking around, I saw Marik laughing again, and his infectious laughter caused me to crack up as well.

His mouth smiled, but his eyes were dark as he stared at Marik.

**THANKS TO ANYONE WHO REVIEWED OR FOLLOWED OR ALERTED OR WHATEVER YOU DID! *Dances***

**CZR: QUICK UPDATE! :D  
Marik: Indeed.  
CZR: I don't know if anyone cares, but Ava is my friend who doesn't actually have a Fanfiction account ^^; Millie is ChristalFire. She is epicsauce, and I suggest looking up her stories.  
Yuugi: CZR doesn't own Yugioh!  
Marik/Bakura: *Keeping CZR from saying anything*  
Yuugi: R&R please!**


	5. I wished for a handgun- I got school

**Things that go Bump in the Night**

**Chapter 5~ I wished for a handgun- I got school**

Entering the school took a lot more effort than it should have.

First off, we had to pull Kevin and Kami away from each other, which was a serious pain in the buttocks.

Then, while we were doing _that_, Bakura decided to pick a fight with Marik, so we had to forcefully drag them away from each other as well.

We stood in a plus sign shape with Marik and Bakura on one of the lines of people, and the same thing with Kami and Kevin on the other line.

At the front was Kami. Behind her was Millie, she stood in front of Ava who was in between Kaiba and Yatem. Marik was to the left of Yatem, and Bakura stood to the right of Kaiba, I stood behind Ava, and Kevin stood behind me as we walked towards the front desk.

Student and teacher alike peered incredulously at us as we did this, in our awkward shape.

We also got a weird look from the secretary. But following that, she got out a schedule for each of us.

"Ooh ooh! Can I see your schedule?" I asked, yanking Marik's out of his hands. After I stared at it for several seconds, I deduced that we had the same schedule, and told him so.

"Can I get a new schedule?" he asked, sullenly.

"No," Millie shot him down immediately.

I snickered until I breezed over Marik's schedule once again in the hallway. I then froze and snatched Yatem, Bakura, and Kaiba's schedules from their hands.

Carter Rïomé

Carlos Rïomé

Florence Rïomé

Creig Rïomé

I looked down the hall at Millie's rapidly disappearing figure. "MILLIE YOU'RE GOING TO WAKE UP DEAD TOMORROW!" I raged.

Bakura had to physically restrain me so I didn't run after and maul her.

"You know, I would've slaughtered her if you hadn't held me back," I mentioned as we walked to our first period that Bakura, Marik, and I all shared.

"Yes, but that wasn't part of the plan," Bakura said, amused.

I was silent for a second as I tried to come up with a retort. And then a quote flew into my head. "Oh, bravo and touché. Perhaps you'd like to stay and make up more clever retorts while your Claw and I rain down apocalyptic terror upon this pathetic world, hmm?" There were no sounds from Bakura as he had no idea what to say. "It's good for a boy to have a hobby," I finished.*

"That was weird," Marik said.

"Yup!" I commented cheerily.

Bakura shook his head, sighing at my weirdness.

We then stood at the opening of the classroom. Marik began to open the door, when a ruler whipped down and slapped his hand. "You wait until I call you in!" the English teacher snapped at us, causing all three of us to jump. She then slammed the door closed.

"I wanna go home," I moaned, hugging Marik.

Bakura growled from behind me and at the same time, I heard the door creak open. I barely had enough time to process this before the door pushed Marik towards me. He stumbled, and his lips landed on mine. We then fell into Bakura, who managed to stand his ground.

The teacher looked shocked, to say the least, at what she had witnessed, before slamming the door in all our faces.

"That was rude," I said at the same time that Marik said, "Sorry."

I looked at him. "What for? That teacher was just a bitch." I grinned at him. "Right Bakura?" I turned to look at Bakura only to find him gone. "Hullo, where has he gone?"**

The teacher didn't let us in until almost the end of class.

During that time, we had gone and complained to the secretary. She claimed that the teacher had called us in absent. We protested that she had seen us earlier ("the nerds who walked in the plus-sign shape!"), and that the teacher wouldn't let us into the class.

The secretary called the teacher, and she was forced to let us in.

For the remainder of the class, she gave us dirty looks.

We completely ignored her, of course.

Marik and I's next class was Anatomy, which we shared with Yatem.

Walking in, we overheard a conversation between two students; neither of whom I recognized.

I snuck over and listened to them as I took a seat. "Did you hear what happened to Peter?" The other who hadn't spoken shook his head. "He went into the bathroom, and the mirror was broken, and this guy was just staring into it. Peter said he was mumbling to himself about something."

"Dude, was he the one that broke the glass?"

"Yeah, his hand was all fucked up. I hear he's in the nurse's right now!" the first one answered.

Marik and I shared a glance. "Do you know what he looked like?" Marik demanded.

"No. If you really wanted to know, you could ask Peter."

"Who's Peter?" I asked, exasperatedly.

"He's an upperclassman. Corkscrew brown hair and he's wearing a grey sweatshirt today," he replied after sending a surprised look my way.

I mentally filed this in with information I would need later.

Marik looked like he was going to say something else, but just then, the teacher walked in, causing all of the class to go silent. They knew that if they talked, the teacher might call on them.

During the class, I completely zoned out, and began doodling on a scrap piece of paper. I came back in when the teacher called out, "Carlos, what's the answer?"

"I knew the answer three-thousand years ago!" he proclaimed loudly, causing a few giggles to break out, before leaning over to me and asking what the question was.

I shrugged and looked up at the teacher.

"Uhhh…" Yatem drawled, looking dumb.

The teacher sighed and then turned to me. "Do you know the answer, Umbrë?"

Um… fuck… Well it's Anatomy class so… "The penis?" I completely derped.

"That is correct, I'm glad to see you were paying attention, unlike your classmate." She sent a pointed stare at Yatem before moving on.

Yatem glared daggers at me. "Why didn't you tell me the answer when I asked?"

"I didn't know! I just completely guessed!" I put my hands up in a 'surrender' gesture.

Yatem frowned, and somehow his gaze traveled to the paper I had been doodling on, and his breath caught. "The Winged Dragon of Ra!"

I quickly covered the paper with my arms. "What? No. What are you talking about?" He gave me an assessing stare, sighed, and then turned to face the front, not wanting to be caught unaware again.

I quickly squirreled the paper away, and then faced the front as well.

Next class was Science. Ava, Marik, Bakura and I had that class together. It was uneventful, except for the fact that someone was wearing extremely strong man-perfume.

After that was History. Only Marik and I shared that class.

Fifth period was band for the first half of the class and then the second half transitioned into lunch. Band was shared by Marik, who played the percussion, Kevin, who played trumpet, and Kami and I, who played clarinet.

Spanish was after that. Marik, Yatem, Bakura and I shared that class.

Last period was Math, and only Marik and I were in it.

Bakura never showed up for classes…

After the bell rang after last period, I waited outside the school. I had received a note from someone last period, math, telling me to wait outside.

It was almost 4:30, and I was just getting ready to leave, when I felt a hand on my shoulder twirl me around.

Somehow, I recognized him as the kid that Marik had been sitting with on the bus. "Um… excuse me, can I help you…?" I asked hesitantly.

His gaze traveled to my eyes, and he stared blankly at me. I shiver went down my spine at this. But then his eyes sharpened and he looked incredibly angry. What had I done this time?!

"Yeah, you can help me by dying!" he yelled, throwing me to the ground. I knew I was short but… damn!

I tried to get up, but my 25 lb backpack prevented me from doing much but flopping around on my back like a turtle.

The kid didn't look fazed in the slightest. I saw him ready to punch me, and I quickly slipped off the straps and jumped to my feet.

"Why?" I asked simply, looking at him curiously. This was the first death threat I had ever gotten.

"My master commands so. I am in no position to do anything." He grinned, revealing the nastiest teeth I had ever seen.

_It's just like Battle City all over again!_ I almost chuckled at the similarity, but this kid was seriously freaking me out, so before anything worse happened, I kicked him in the groin, grabbed my backpack, and ran away.

"You bitch!" I heard him call after me.

Turning back to make sure there was no one stalking me, I tripped over a rock.

Pages of fanfics from my backpack flew and scattered everywhere. I squeaked and gathered up the papers. I then went after the stubborn ones. One of them decided to be extraordinarily difficult, so I had to run after it. Only after I had nabbed it did I realize that I had run right down a dark alley.

And that I had no idea where I was…

I suddenly felt faint, and clutched my stories closer to me. I collapsed to my knees. Damn it! I _knew_ I should have eaten lunch!

Before I passed out, I heard someone groan, "You're more trouble then you're worth."

I jolted to awareness hours later. If the darkened sky was a good judge, it must've been after eight.

Then I realized that I _wasn't_ in an alley… AND WHERE THE HECK WAS MY FANFICS?!

I jumped up, but immediately relaxed again as I saw them on a nearby table. At the same time, I realized that I was back in my house.

Perhaps my subconscious could teleport. I sweatdropped at that; it would explain so much, yet so little…

Looking over when I heard a loud snore, I saw Kaiba and Millie cuddling on the couch. Err… well, Kaiba was sagged over his computer, and Millie was sprawled over his back. Yatem was lying on the floor, and his limbs seemed to be spread everywhere. I held back a chuckle at how unregal the position was.

Bakura and Marik were snuggling on the floor as well, which cause me to "aww" and take a picture with my phone's camera.

I then heard a crinkling from the kitchen and tiptoed inside.

A certain blond haired yami was nomming Doritos. _My_ Doritos. "Dude…" I began shaking my head as he looked up guiltily. "Not cool…"

"Dude. Not cool!" he mocked in a higher voice than mine.

"I sound nothing like that!" I exclaimed.

If you hadn't guessed by context by now, Yami Marik was currently residing in my kitchen. Eating my beloved Doritos. I was more concerned with the later at the current time. I mean, honestly, how _dare_ he!

**CZR: My update time has gone to hell…  
Mariku: Finally, I have arrived on the scene!  
CZR: Indeed you have, sir. Care for a Dorito?  
Mariku: Why, I would love one thank yo-  
CZR: TOO BAD THEY'RE ALL MIIIINE!  
Ryou: CZR doesn't own anything that she references.  
Yuugi: *Pushes him out of the way* I'M the disclaimer! CZR doesn't own Yugioh or Yugioh abridged, no matter how many times she references it!  
Ryou: Damn that was harsh…  
CZR: I can pretend… TT_TT  
Yuugi: Thanks for reading R&R please.**

(*So if anyone got this reference I'm very proud of you. In the Secret Saturdays video game Beasts of the Fifth Sun, Argost says this. It's a very fun game, and I suggest it to anyone who asks.  
**This second one is a reference to Agatha Christie's Witness for the Prosecution. We're doing that play in my school. If anyone knows this play, then I commend you ^^)


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